This went on for some time, causing my Mom to step out of her comfort zone, beginning to research new articles and buying new books on dog behavior and training. (You need to understand my Mom is an old woman who grew up on a farm, had many dogs as well as having trained horses. She honestly thought she'd seen or dealt with about everything one could come across with dogs and a lot with most animals.) The end conclusion being most people would have given up on me, and I more than likely would have ended up at the dog shelter. I definitely was a challenge, luckily I had a Mom who loved challenges.
Which leads us to our subject for this blog. Brokenness,
Had I ended up with someone else, I would have more than likely become a broken dog. What I mean by that is my problems such as they were, could have become monumentally bigger than what they already were. My fears were indeed real and large to me, (obvious to others) and for a brief while almost crippling.
No one can explain the horrifying terror that can grip a soul, and send you running for the protection of your home where you feel your safest, or the insecurities that can wrap their tenacious fingers around your heart making you feel as if the world is a dreadful place.
1 John 4:18
18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Perfect love cast out fear.
That's where Mom started with me. We would sit where I could see my shadow, or hear dogs barking in the distance for sometimes 15- 20 min at a time. Yes initially I'd put up a fight. Mom told me that was fine, I could fight if I wanted to. We were still going to sit here for a little while. Mom said, "She'd still be here waiting for me when I'd given out of fight". When I'd stop fighting, and turn and look at my Mom she'd give me a hug or a pat, talk to me quietly and we'd then go on our way...
I yielded my heart to my Mothers desire. I put my trust in my Mom's plan that things would be ok and that she'd keep me safe.
There's two types of Brokenness on this earth my friends and furiends. There's the brokenness that the world inflicts on us, (pain, hurt, bitterness and fear) that can easily be compounded, and there's the Brokenness of a heart yielded to God. Trusting that He's always there, to bind our wounds, calm our fears and pick us up our of our deepest, darkest pits of terror.
Mom and Dad have never figured out how I ended up with some of the fears that I had. They finally decided it didn't really matter. What matters is what I am today, and the changing power of love, and patience.
God showed my Mom and Dad His love and patience for them. They in turn showed His love and patience to me.
I am a testimony of what can be accomplished with a yielded heart and loving pawrents.
The same crippling fears can break a humans heart just as easily as they were breaking mine. May we all remember we have a loving God who desires to take away our fears, and give us something, (someone=Himself) real to hold onto, to have faith in. Someone to just sit with us until our fears subside.
Don't believe the lies that tell you your faith isn't big enough, or your fears and failures are too large. He's there with you, holding you in the middle of your fears and your failures, telling you it will all be ok, just as my Mom was with me.
Perfect love cast out fear.
Love and Peace,
Molly and my Mom